The pancake-making phone cometh. Also words.

Ohmigod George Carlin. I've heard him on and off before (who'd have thought he'd be a kids' TV show host?), but it's only recently that I've really started listening. For decades, this man railed against a lot (that's a two-word phrase, reader) of the follies of the modern world in a manner that makes me cringe with the accuracy of his, in some cases, foresight. My favorite line that pops up now and again is along the lines of 'I don't need a phone that can make me pancakes' (if my research is correct, Carlin said that in 2007), and in the age of smart homes, this kind of device is no longer a mere possibility. (Warning: these devices listen to you and, if they're working properly, spit out an intelligent response. Wonder how? Read the fine print that comes with them.)

Much of his material also rails against the thoughtless modification of the English language; I suspect he'd be annoyed at the errors found in fanfiction (and sadly, college-level texts, but that's another rant).

Breath vs. Breathe - The first is a noun, the second a verb. Such as "I watch my breath in the winter as I breathe into the cold."

Vice vs. Vise - The first is some sort of failing, like alcoholism or gluttony (no more salami, I swear). The second is a clamp that can be tightened to hold a piece of wood to a table so it can be sliced in half with a handsaw (which is an oddly satisfying, if jarring, sensation).

Waist vs. Waste - Author, not even Colin Firth can bring that hotness back once somebody starts straddling somebody else's waste. (Unless that's your kink. ...Humans are weird.)

There are some modifications to the language that I'm willing to accept. Like hangry. (I still like it, Georgie-boy - you'll just have to deal.) What can I say, reader, just because I enjoy listening to the guy doesn't mean I have to agree with everything he says. Said. 'Cause George is dead. Pity, that.